


I am still the same

by Bellatrix_Winchester (Keterina_Porpentina_Albus_Everdeen)



Series: Castiel x Reader one-shots [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel (Supernatural) Does Not Care About Gender Norms, Cute Castiel, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Love, M/M, Nightmares, Protective Castiel (Supernatural), Reader-Insert, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, author broke the tags, but you know you like it, gender neutral reader, recurring nightmare, yes very original
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-21
Updated: 2019-06-21
Packaged: 2020-05-15 19:02:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19301878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Keterina_Porpentina_Albus_Everdeen/pseuds/Bellatrix_Winchester
Summary: You have been having a recurring nightmare since the past couple of days. Today however, something changed in your dream.A certain someone started behaving differently in your dream, leading you to believe that his regard for you has changed in real life too.Castiel comforts you because he is sweet as honey.





	I am still the same

**Author's Note:**

> _"Who are you today_  
>  Will you be the sun or the pouring rain  
> Who are you tomorrow  
> Will you make me smile or bring me sorrow....  
> Who are you today  
> 'Cause I am still the same. "
> 
> (Hey guys, I'd hugely appreciate if you read my latest poem "hypocrite". It's hugely personal and I shared it with you all with great faith because I love this fandom and the AO3 community.  
> Thanks a lot 😊)

"Nooooooooo!" You woke up with a jolt, your mouth was dry as a desert.

This recurring nightmare of yours was really starting to get the best of you. The sad part was that no one knew.

Castiel did though, celestial being and all. You and Cas shared a profound bond, so the shifts in your mood and state of mind, always hit him like a truck.

You had no idea, however, that no matter how hard you try to keep it quite, Castiel could hear your heart.

You never even suspected, foolish you, that the reason Castiel would suddenly stand up in your presence, try to snake his arms around your waist, slowly massage your neck and trace your hairline for no apparent reason ; was because he could sense how upset the nightmares made you. He never pried though, neither did he know the exact nature of your dreams.

It was always the same. _A burning building, your parents trying hard not to catch the smoke, people coughing and the minute all of you get out, your childhood home bursts into flames._

_Your parents were okay but your legs were stuck under a heavy concrete. Crying in pain, you tried to wiggle but it hurt so bad. And then Castiel would come, wings flapping, his peace and calm washing over you; and he would smile at you sincerely._

_Castiel would take your hand, press two fingers to your forehead, and all of a sudden, you were healed, free and in front of your parents. That's when the shooting would start._

_Usually you woke up before your parents got shot, but on some bad days, you would watch them gurgle blood like you saw in real life._ That would set your off and the rest of the day, Cas would try his utter best to calm you down.

* * *

That night, your dream changed.

_As soon as the smoke started, something in you told you to get everybody out immediately. Taking your parent's arms, you pushed them out the door, hid them under a trapdoor which led them to a basement and told them to sit tight._

_"Don't even talk or open the door to anyone but me!" You told your mum who nodded, fear in her beautiful eyes, worried for her child._

_You run to save another child but something stops you. You look down and your legs are stuck under a concrete slab, iron rods sliced into your skin._

_You whimper in pain but wait patiently for Castiel. He never shows._

_Despite yourself, you pray to him, even in the nightmare._

_"Castiel, save me. Please. Help me my Angel." You close your eyes, hoping either to wake up or for him to come._

* * *

 

In real life, Castiel hears your prayer. You prayed so earnestly that it broke the barrier of dreams and real world. He was sitting with the boys when he abruptly stood up.

"Cas?" Sam asks, "What's wrong?"

Dean looks up at Cas, "It's Y/N isn't it? He is worried so it must be them."

Castiel nods, " Y/N is having a nightmare. I can hear Y/N praying."

Sam looks surprised, " You can hear the prayer through a dream?"

Dean smirks, " I don't understand why Cas can't tell Y/N how much he loves...."

He stops when Cas abruptly disappears.

\---

"I'm here love", Cas softly murmurs, "Nobody can hurt you now." 

As his hands brushes against your scalp, trying to calm you down, he notices your heart yearning.

"Why are you in pain, my sweet?" Cas's brows frowns as he leans in to hear your whispers.

In the dream, you were still praying. Only this time, your prayers were tear stricken.

_"Why Castiel?" You try to muffle your sobs and look up at the angel of the Lord._

_Castiel laughs, "Why? Because I'm an angel, you ass. Why should I bother saving your stupid legs when I let all your family burn to Ash? We aren't servant of human kind. Whatever monstrosity you brought on yourselves, treats you right._

_You are all so pathetic, making everything worse, praying to us to clean up your mess and blaming our father not fixing it up._

**_Why did you start violence in the first place!"_** _Castiel bellows, his arms grabs you by the shoulder as he shakes you._

_Tears start falling down your defeated face._

_"I didn't. My parents didn't. We are not immigrants. This country is my home. They are treating us like..." You blurt._

_" Cockroaches?" Cas finishes, his eyes cold and merciless._

_"All humans are roaches, we don't care who lives where. Earth is yours and you made a mess. We stay in heaven's comfort while you destroy what God built. We don't care anymore. Stow your own crap!"_

_With that_ _, Castiel leaves._

* * *

Castiel watches as your face fills with a steady stream  tears that have started to flow down your eyes endlessly.

"Shh, shh", he caressed your cheek, wiping your tears with his thumb, worry clouding his beautiful angelic face.

Before you wake up, you sobbed hard in your dream. Contemplating his words, you let the thought sink in that Castiel never cared about you and never will.

As your real eyes cry even more tears, Cas presses one finger to your temple to wake you up.

You open your eyes to see concerned sapphire eyes.

A sharp pang slices your heart like a knife.

"Cas?" You say with a broken voice, unable to understand the real life scenario.

"Hey Y/N", he gives you a small smile that only reminds you of his smirk with which he called you a roach.

"I had to wake you up myself, I couldn't see you suffer anymore. " Castiel sincerely says, his features softening and his voice becoming a gentle purr.

He reaches out to tuck a hair behind your ear, but you jerk his hands off in reflex.

Looking sad, he slowly removes his touch from your arms and cheek.

You sit up and wipe your tears with the sleeve of your top. As you reach for a glass of water, Castiel immediately brings the glass to you and crouches down to sit on the floor, in front of you.

"What are you doing?" You ask him.

"I'm giving you a glass of water." Castiel answer, still unsure of why you were rejecting his help.

You shake your head, more tears spilling from your eyelashes, "You hate me. You don't want anything to do with me." 

He freezes at your words that you barely could whisper with your broken voice.

Cas watches as you gulp down the water and start to move away from where he was sitting.

Cas stands up and gently grabs your wrist, "Don't you ever think that... I.. how could you think that..."

You sniffle, too tired emotionally to jerk away his hands again, " you told me. You said we are roaches, worthless, you won't ever help me because all I do is... " Your voice breaks.

Cas's gorgeous face becomes filled with sorrow and understanding.

"Oh Y/N. My beautiful Y/N. Don't you know that I'll always want you." He takes both of your palms in his hands and looks directly into your eyes.

You look up with blurry eyes at him and hate the familiar calming feelings like he is looking into your soul.

Castiel now wipes your tears with his thumb and cups your cheek ever so slowly.

"It was a dream. A horrible one. It's over now, I'm very sorry that you heard me say all that but nothing could be further from the truth." Castiel says, nothing but sincerity in his ocean blue eyes.

You try to get a hold of reality now, "So, that wasn't a glimpse of your real feelings?"

Cas shakes his head and smiles softly, " Of course not. I'd like to think that you saw that particular version of me because you were too afraid.

We are afraid to lose what we love."

You blink.

Castiel looked at you and leans in to press a chaste kiss on your forehead,then he pulls back to rest his forehead on yours.

"I think you already know how I feel for you. I think you know that I am truly, deeply in love with you. That is why you were afraid." Cas whispers softly.

A blush creeps up your cheek as you realize that to be the truth.

You place your hand on his chin now, feeling his stubble on your palm.

"I was afraid to lose you Cas. You are right. You were always right. I am so sorry..." You start.

" No no." Cas pulls you into a hug.

"Don't you know darling? You never have to apologise. For love always worries. It's how you know." He whispers back.

You pull back and take his face in your hands and finally say it.

"I love you so much. I don't ever want to live without you." You smile at him.

Castiel leans in and before pressing his lips against yours, he says, " you won't ever have to."

His lips so soft against yours, tells you exactly what he told you before. He was yours.

 


End file.
